My head's a little bit of a mess tonight, but in a good way I think.
One thing did bother me today though. I'm really not excited about seeing all of the hurricane stuff on TV all the time. The whole situation is depressing. It's really sad and I try not to dwell on it because there's not much I'm in a position to do about it. I wanted to watch Oprah before work today and she was doing a show on it. They showed a bunch of pictures of dead bodies. Now I myself have never looked at a dead person before. I never did and never will go to anyone's funeral. I think it's disgusting. I don't want to remember people that way. The one that bothered me the most today was when they showed a barely blurred out picture of a dead man who had been shot in the head. Not only did the fact of seeing dead people bother me but that made it worse. My mom killed herself by shooting herself in the head and I will never be able to deal with seeing people like that. I realized it months back when my ex was watching the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre and they kept showing the girl at the beginning who blew a hole in her head. I asked him to turn it off.
Well. Life is shitty sometimes but we all have to make the best of it. If I spent my time thinking about all of the shitty things and people in the world I'd be a very unhappy person.
So then, I try to think about the positives. Lucky for me that's fairly easy right now because I have a lot of good things going on in my life even though there is stress.
Money is my biggest issue right now but really, I'd trade all of the money in the world to be happy and where I want to be. There was a time in my life where I didn't have much at all but I was very happy. Somehow this point in my life seems to be the same. This time I hope it lasts and that I appreciate it.
I hope that everything stays so good. I do not want to be a person that does not appreciate things until they're gone.
I've learned it in my personal life, people have learned it because of this natural disaster. We shouldn't need a natural disaster to appreciate people though. We should all live like it's the last day.